Dear Madison: I Promise

Dear Madison,

We are full swing into your first year of Kindergarten and I can’t even believe the emotions I have been feeling. I can’t tell you how proud I am of you and how much you’ve already accomplished. You’ve made friends, your riding the bus and recently we joined Girl Scouts. Your teacher has nothing but good things to say about you. It sure makes Momma feel like I’m doing something right! When I look back at photos from the Summer I can already see the difference in how you’ve grown physically and emotionally. I volunteer at the school a lot and at first I thought it was going to be a problem because you stuck by my side a lot and even cried when I left but now that we are part of a Girl Scout group and have had our first meeting I realized that your a lot like me. It just takes you a little time to get to your “comfort” zone. Your a routine person, I’m a routine person, not because we are anal but because we like the safety of knowing when we will be at our comfort level. I promise to continue to push you sweet girl, not outside your comfort zone but to be more comfortable with-in your comfort zone.

I promise

We celebrated your sixth birthday. It wasn’t too big this year but you really loved having your closest friends at the movie theatre to watch a movie and have pizza and cake. Sometimes I look at you and I can NOT even believe the little person you have grown into. Last week we had one of those mornings when you woke and I could tell you literally grew over night. The features in your face are changing, when I hold your hand I can tell they are larger, and the questions you are asking are about things that are actually factual.

We celebrated Thanksgiving for the first time at home this year. It was nice. Momma and Nunney cooked together and GG came to eat with us. Then we brought out the Christmas decorations and for the first time ever you and your brother bounced off of the walls for a month straight. We had a great holiday season despite the madness and excitement. We watched our first Salem Christmas Parade with your school, we had a Festival of Trees at the school and Momma helped plan the classroom holiday party where we visited countries around the world. Momma was so proud of you as you embraced the Christmas spirit and helped give back this year. We donated toys to the needy in town, we cooked for others and during the weeks leading up to the holiday you and your brother chose toys from your toy room to donate back to Santa Clause so he could fix them up and give them to other kids.  Daddy and I are so pleased with how big your heart is growing for others. You are slowly learning to appreciate what you have and sharing with those who do not. We celebrated the New Year by cooking together, making some fun crafts and silly games. Nunney joined us this year and we all counted down together.

The last time I wrote to you I talked about how 3:30 has become my favorite part of the day because I get to stand at the bottom of the street anticipating how your day was. I’ve slowly watched you become more confident and happy with your self. We have a special spot that we stand on at the bottom of the street. I’m not sure how it came about but it’ll always be special to me. It was covered with snow recently, then we had a few warmer days last week. The look on your face when we got to the bottom of the hill on Friday and you noticed the snow had melted off of “our spot” was just priceless. May you always hold my hand baby girl. Maybe not physically because I know some day you will not need my hand for comfort, but may you always feel confident relying on me. We stand there on “our spot” and we talk about what is going on at school that day, what’s for lunch, and what may be happening that afternoon when you return home. We hold hands and you always, every single day when you see the bus coming ask, “will you give me a kiss and wave to me momma?” I don’t know why you ask this because I do this every day without hesitating.

So as you continue into your first year of school, as I see you making new friends, as Momma is making new friends and getting used to the school year schedule and what it’s like to be a part of the public school system there are some promises I need to make to you.

I promise

I promise to always give you a kiss and wave to you when you get on the bus sweet girl. Even on the days where you will run onto that bus to share your latest secret or your current frustrations about me with your best friend. In my heart I will turn, blow you a kiss and wave to you.

I promise to ask about your day and listen with a whole heart. Always. Whether it’s about the boy who kept picking his nose, the little girl that told you that you couldn’t play with her to the day when someone breaks your heart for the very first time. I will be there.

I promise to be involved but not too involved. It is your first year and Momma volunteers a lot and will be there a lot but please understand I need to step back sometimes too. It’s how you’ll learn to trust in others and spread your wings.

I promise to guide you in the right direction when your hurt, sad, upset or even happy! I don’t want to be that Momma that tells you want to do but I want to be there for you when you are lost and need some guidance. I may make mistakes, and I may guide you incorrectly at times, but I will be there.

I promise that I’ll always tell be honest. I may not always tell you what you want to hear and I may not allow you to do everything your way but know it comes from love. It comes from my Mom teaching me that sometimes it’s not always a good idea to follow the direction of others but to create your own path.

I promise with every argument or disagreement we have we will work it out together. We will give each other space and time, respect one another’s feelings and respond by hearing each others words and talking about them until we reach a reasonable outcome. Together.

I love you sweet girl and I promise you, there is nothing we aren’t going to be able to conquer together.

Love,
Momma

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