Dear Baby F.

 

Week 4

This is the week, this is the very day that mommy found out about you. You are already a blessing. I thought when I found out I was pregnant that I would be sad, sad that my time alone with your big sister will now be limited. Sad, that now I’m going to have to spread my love even more. I thought I’d be scared that we are still in a 1000 sq. foot condo and don’t have the extra room yet. Scared that I’ll suffer from post partum again. I thought I’d be scared with the idea of being pregnant, tired and sick with a toddler running around that needs so much of me right now. Well that one does still scare me a bit but I know it’s only for a matter of time. Instead I feel happy, I feel different already, I feel like I’m glowing again. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the two lines on that test, I was only one day late but a part of me thought I felt different, like before. I couldn’t wait to tell your daddy. I wanted to put the test in a box and give it to him when he got home from work and tell him, it’s the last of his birthday gifts, but I couldn’t. I thought of sending him a video of me watching the test turn positive, but I couldn’t. Instead I called him at 7am and just blurted it out!! You see my little one, we weren’t not trying, but weren’t actively trying! You are already a little blessing, you were already meant to be!

I can’t wait for you to meet your big sister, she will love you with all of her heart. Our little family is slowly growing and I can’t wait to experience so much more with you. I found out about you on the exact day your big sister was due, how ironic, but no she decided to come until 5 days after.

This week you are the size of an Apple Seed!! That means a teeny .13 inches — your gearing up for much more growth. In fact, in the next week, you’ll almost double in size.

You don’t look like much more than a tadpole right now, but your already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidneys) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous). Grow baby, grow! I’m a bit overwhelmed can you tell??!! I’ll need to wait some time to tell anyone about you, I need some time to really enjoy it alone with daddy. Let it sink in that our little family is growing! I’m already busting at the seems, I wonder how long I’ll be able to hold it in.

Week 11

Hi my lil peanut!!

Here we are finishing up our second trimester. So much has changed in only 7 short weeks! The major two are we did find a home to move to so we will have more room as a family. We are more than excited to make that move. Secondly, we’ve told the world about you!!! I waited a whole 10.5 weeks, that’s good!! LOL :)

Most of my fears have subsided. I’m not worried about not having enough love to spread around because, well, I’m a mommy and we are just born with all of the love in the world. I’m not sad about my alone time coming to an end with your big sister because I will always make that alone time with her, I feel that’s important. I’m not overwhelmed with being sick and tired with a toddler running around because, well I’m doing it!!!! It sure is different than the first time around! Mommy wasn’t so sick with Madison, she was tired but I was able to come home and go to bed, I can’t do that now. I hate feeling sick all the time but I keep reminding myself that it just means you are growing and becoming healthy, it means that I will take the sickness for you any day so you can be well. That’s what mommies do.

Boy or girl we will love you with all of our hearts. Like before, it hasn’t quite hit daddy too much yet, usually doesn’t until mommy shows her baby bump, though my baby bump is totally there, it still hasn’t hit him yet. Not sure if it’s a daddy thing or just a your daddy thing, he doesn’t worry about too much until it happens. It’s kind of what I love about him :) he already loves you though, he won’t discuss girl names with me, he says your a boy, but don’t worry he secretly knows your a girl (he says he was born to have girls LOL) 8 more weeks and we will be able to give you a beautiful name.

Madison doesn’t know that her life is about to change but she will get it when you are here!! She LOVES LOVES LOVES babies right now. She lays on the floor with her palms in her hands and just watches and says “bebe” “bebe” it’s the most adorable thing. I know she is going to make a great big sister, she will be your very best friend I just know it.

I already can’t wait to hold you in my arms, I can’t wait to feel you kick so I know you are happy and healthy. Soon my love, very soon.

I love you already.
Mommy

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