Something I do to capture my days and stay positive as a SAHM is take a lot of photo’s. They aren’t good photo’s. Most of them are taken with my phone, however they are my life. It makes me stay positive during days that are frustrating. Those days that challenge me to answer the question of why I became a SAHM. I have friends or sometimes complete strangers that say they could never do it. I have friends that must work to support their families. We all contribute to our families as mothers, it’s just all done in different ways. I’ve come to realize over the past year that becoming a mother changes you. I used to think it was in a way that made me a cranky bitch of a person to be around, however I’ve discovered in the last few months that it’s more in a way that has made me a stronger person. Not a better person, a stronger person. It’s made me see that us mother’s really need to stick together. A lot of people do not like my honesty. I’ve come to see that it’s a part of me that has changed, I cared (and sometimes still do) way too much of what people think about me. The decisions I make as a person, as a wife, as a mother. Time is only showing me that I no longer care. Us mother’s need to stick together because in the end we all end up doing the same thing, we do what’s best for our families. End. Of. Story.
There was so much controversy on the radio/TV last week on a statement that Gweneth Paltrow made about how hard it is to be a working Mother on the set of a movie. How it’s harder for her than most working mother’s. I didn’t get all huffy and puffy and say “how dare her!” OK well maybe I did for a second, but in the end she gave an opinion about her own situation just like everyone else out there does. What’s hard for me as a SAHM might not be what is as hard for another SAHM. Or what is hard for a working Mom may not be what another working Mom battles, or vice versa. I don’t deal with Momma guilt, I deal with guilt that I don’t make enough time for myself and then when I do I feel bad for that too. How about the grass is always greener effect. Someone called up and spoke about the comment Gweneth made. She said “Why can’t all of us Mothers just stick together and stay united.” I found myself screaming in my car “YES!!!!!!!!! WHY CAN”T WE??!!” We all have our battles that’s all I’m saying. Gwenth has her battles I have mine, the neighbor has hers with teenagers, my other friend has hers with a newborn, etc etc etc. We are all moms, we all have our battles, times are great, times are tough, can’t we all just accept that and stand behind one another?? I’ve never been a working mother…. Gosh I even hate saying it like that because yes, my everyday life is work, I don’t hang in PJ’s all day, watch soap opera’s and eat popcorn, well maybe the PJ part, but a working mother that has never been a SAHM doesn’t know what my battles are, so call it whatever you want but I’ve never had a job to get to everyday, responsibility outside of my home, honestly it stresses me out even thinking about it so I can only imagine how hard it is to have that on top of everything else we have to take on. However I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t upset me when others think SAHM’s have it so easy, it’s a sensitive subject with me, my husband’s career gives me the option of staying home however don’t think I don’t have credit card debt or that I don’t cut coupons because trust me I do! I put off food shopping some weeks because the money isn’t there. So what I’m getting at is we all have our struggles, I get it, I can see the working mother’s side…..or I can only imagine the side. I’m just wondering why some don’t seem to see mine? Being a mom is hard work for anyone whether you work, travel, are black, white or stay home!! Don’t you agree? It’s hard work but I bet there is one thing we can all agree on………it’s well worth it.
So, back to Gwenth’s statement, I’m not saying I agree or disagree with it, all I’m saying is I respect it because as people, never mind mothers we should respect people. Accept them for who they are. I often make the comment of I don’t love everything about every single person in my life, but I was raised to be respectful and accept people for who they are whether I agree or disagree with their actions or decisions. It’s OK if everyone isn’t like that, everyone is different and it’s what makes the world go round that’s for sure. While driving and letting someone have the right away, I feel good, I did something nice for someone, they wave, I wave back. Then when it’s my turn and someone cuts me off instead I find myself saying (Besides F-You buddy!!) “Gosh if the world were full of nicer people maybe this said world would be a better place to live in!” Then I remember how different we all are.
When I read blogs or comments from people about motherhood I laugh at the honest stuff. The stuff when people are elbow deep in poop and think “this is what my life has become”, because let’s face it, we’ve all thought it at least once in our everyday lives of parenting it’s just some people are bold enough to say it and some are not. It’s OK. For me it’s been about it REALLY BEING OK to admit it. For the first time in my life I believe I am.
I may decide that going out to dinner with a girlfriend or going for a walk refreshes me and resets my patience so I can get back home and be the best possible Momma I can be. Where as another mother may decide to curl up with her husband or simply crawl into bed! Neither is right or wrong, we are both mothers. My husband tends to read a magazine or listen to music after we put the kids to bed, me I choose to watch any Drama I can on TV because it zones me out. I usually “need” to leave the house more during the week to get away from the kiddo’s and he feels the “need” to do something special with them one night a week because I’m home with them 12 hours a day and he is home with them for only two. Sometimes I opt to go shopping after dinner kidless and I’ll say I’ll try to get home before the kids go to bed, but he says, no don’t worry about it, take your time. Or for example this week I felt bad having two nights in a row of appointments after dinner that left my husband putting them to bed two nights in a row. He said so what, I said well it’s not an easy job. Feeding one, bathing another, dealing with my toddler who won’t poop until she gets a diaper on at night so she then proceeds to poop 4 times a night, oh and don’t forget those stall tactics each night she dishes out! I make myself feel horrible for not “Loving” that part of the day, while my husband doesn’t “Love” it, he also hasn’t been at it all day with both of them, so come 6 my patience are shot and the real nice mommy voice is fading! Hey if that makes me a bad Momma in your eyes, it’s OK, to me it makes me just “Momma.”
So I take you to a week of photo’s. A week of photo’s I snap when I see a moment I want to remember…..photo’s I want to look back and on see wow, we had a really good week and I can’t wait to make it even better next week. Or wow I’m a lucky lucky woman to have such beautiful children, a healthy family and a husband who adores me. Capturing those moments makes me go on, it makes me stronger, it makes me. What do you do to recharge and feel truly blessed?
We may start our mornings at 5am sometimes but how can it not start great with this handsome man!
And yes this new cream cheese and coffee makes me glad to start my days at 5!!
Then a quick snapshot of my babies as Madison heads to school for Red Sox day!!
Three days a week I spend one on one time with my little man. I’m reminded of how blessed I am to have this time with him as I had all the one on one time in the world with MM. My little man and I have nice walks on a nice day! Some days we meet up with friends and other days we just snuggle and cook. What’s a walk in the park without a snack!
Or if Madison is home with us we do crafts. Here we are getting ready to host our second annual Easter Dinner so we are making place settings with everyone’s name on them. This year she did each one herself!
Or when my baby girl comes home from school proud as can be with this:
Or a random Sunday when Daddy takes Drew out for some Daddy Drew time. I sat in my office working and this is the view I got. He sat in this swing for a good hour or more just watching Daddy do yard work, he was so happy.
Then later that same night it was warm enough to have our first grilled meal! Bring on the Spring!
Nothing makes me happier than seeing this kid eat! He loves food! Not junk either, real good nutritious food!!
I can’t forget about how happy it makes me to share my children with my family. Watching their faces light up and smile when they are in the same room with them.
How each and every person in our lives can make them smile in their very own little way!
Seeing snuggles just makes my day.
Then of course there are those nights when “someone” won’t go to sleep, so a few extra minutes of snuggle time with Daddy may just do the trick!!
Last but not least, when both kids do nap on the same schedule, Momma FINALLY gets a late breakfast and some meal planning time!!
Oh I can’t forget when Daddy decided to buy Mommy a few new books while out one night……I love that he always thinks of me.
And at the end of the day………I look at these two precious lives and I thank god for them!!
I’ll leave you with one more article that I’ve found recently that just about summed it up for me. Sometimes someone else’s writing just says all the words we need to hear. Check it out. Why Being a Mom is Enough.