I know I’m not the only Momma out there that has a sensitive child. I’m a bit obsessed with that show called Super Nanny. It is about a woman who goes from home to home to help parents with their out of control kids. It’s not that I think my kids are out of control I just love watching the techniques she uses. I’ve used a few and have developed these feelings flashcards for my kids. She has great ideas for helping children grow and learn and I’ve even come up with some great ideas for my husband and I to maintain a healthy relationship as well. Yes she believes in Date Nights too. Awhile back we started seeing a therapist because my now five year old had a huge fear of the dark. It was causing sleep issues and bed time was becoming more than a chore for my husband and I. We found out that she has a normal fear of the dark, just like every other kid does but she was actually using it as a “stall-tactic” come bed time. No body wants to hear their child scream when you shut the door at night, it tore at me so I never pushed it. I can’t. I figure there are plenty of days to come when the door will most likely always be closed. We have since gotten bed time down in a reasonable time as both kids continue to push the stall-tactics we have learned a few other things from our therapist. All kids experience so many different kinds of feelings at once come a certain age. I truly believe that it’s our job to guide them in the right directions regarding these said feelings. Man, bring on the weight onto my shoulders. I have a hard time dealing with my own feelings now I have to teach my daughter! Ha!
Since Madison is extremely sensitive and has a very active imagination, I tread lightly. So I decided to take advantage of the cute little emojis that we send to our family and friends daily via text! Now when there is an argument we pull out these flashcards. Sometimes it goes like this: “Madison are you feeling angry and sad?” “NO!!!!!” “NOOOOO!!” However there has been some break throughs using these feelings flashcards. On a Sunday morning my husband was in my office/craft room with my youngest playing. Madison noticed they were not in the room and asked where Daddy was. He said “I’m back here with Drew”. She ran in and asked my husband if he wanted to go outside. He responded with “sure as soon as I’m done this with Drew.” Then I heard her continue to haunt him. “Daddy do you want to go out?!” He responded with the one more “Sure! as soon as I’m done this with Drew.” She continued. I got the “Left Out” and “Sad” flashcard and went into the room. I said “Madison are you feeling these feelings?” Of course she said no at first but then she grabbed the confused card. I said “OK well it’s ok to feel confused. Daddy has to have time with Drew too and you and I were having fun in the living room, he said he would take you outside afterwards, you can either come back and sit with me or you can join Daddy and Drew.” That seemed to make her happy. I even brake out the “Loved” or “Happy” flashcard when we are having a good day or a good time to show her the happy feelings as well.
There are some days where I want to throw the darn things in the trash because sometimes it ends in just a screaming fest of “NOOO!” but then I think of my sweet girl and how hard of a time she is having with these feelings she has no clue about and I remember to never give up. Never give up on my sweet girl because she has a kind heart and beautiful soul it’s my job to help and guide her.
What do you do with your kids to help with feelings?