Dear Madison – Then There Were Two…

Dear Sweet Girl,

It’s been over eight weeks since we brought  your baby brother home. Your life has forever changed and though right now it may feel like it’s not for the better, I promise you, it will be. At least that’s what I keep telling myself anyways, the first few weeks Baby Drew was home Mommy’s heart just broke in two for you. You see you were my everything, I lived and breathed for my baby girl, and now Mommy was blessed enough to be dosed with so much more love, that I get to share it with Baby Drew now. It’s just an adjustment for all of us, but I promise you that in the end, your brother will be one of the best things that will ever happened to you.

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Though you’ve regressed in a few things, we aren’t focusing on those things right now, we are concentrating on the wonderful things that have happened this summer to our family and the beautiful little girl you are becoming. Yes I said little girl…..I feel like I can’t even call you a toddler anymore because you are just this little person who brings laughter to our family each and every day. You literally have us in stitches. You’ve been spending a lot of time at the camp since Mommy & Daddy have their hands full, you spend a lot of days with Nunny, TT, Aunty Mick (yes please do laugh because you started that) and GG, you just love it up there so much. You play with toys that aren’t even yours, you ask for rides on the Gator, you swim until you turn into a fish and every night your there you sit by the fire in your PJ’s and you get every single person who is there to nearly pee their pants with your cute little attitude and love of life. Here you are with your corn holders! And yes………of course PupPup.

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You’ve also spent a lot of time at Memere and Grampy Gary’s house this summer, you love working in Grampy’s garden with him, your favorite is yellow beans and blackberries!!

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2013-07-07 16.44.55In the past few months I’ve been looking back a lot on older pictures and video’s of you and I can’t believe how much you have grown. We are getting ready to celebrate your 3rd birthday and I can’t even believe how fast time flies. You are learning so much, you officially know all of your colors and you are counting to 11 all by yourself! Your imagination has just flowed these past few weeks and as a Mommy you have no idea how proud I am of you. When you spend the weekend with Memere, Grampy Gary or even Nunny, they tell me what a good girl you always are, you are polite and sweet, you listen and you are truly a love to be around. That my sweet girl, makes mommy very proud. It makes me see that I’m doing my job and I’m doing it well. It makes all of those days that you melt down because you don’t want your diaper changed or the tantrums you pull because you’d much rather play on your swing set than eat dinner……..well hearing people say what a sweet girl I have, makes those moments seem OK. I wonder everyday if you and I are going to have a close relationship when you get older, the teenage years are so far away I can’t even begin to think of those days yet, but I can’t help but think that when Mommy looses her patience or raises her voice if I’m hurting you more than doing you good. That’s the Momma guilt I like to call it, that’s what your Mommy does, she worries. I wouldn’t be Mommy if I didn’t. 🙂 So until then I will promise you better days ahead and will share each and every moment of love with you than I can.

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We had some great times this summer, Mommy and Daddy have struggled getting your baby brother through his infant/cranky stage but we tried our hardest to give you wonderful memories these last few months, we went to Canobie Lake with your best friend Jack, you had so much fun you cried the whole way home because you didn’t want to leave. We had vacation up the camp and celebrated Aunty Julie’s birthday, we had Christmas in July and Santa came to the camp! We even went to the Aquarium in the City just me, you and Daddy!!  You missed your Nunny being home all the time but don’t worry she we will be home next week and you can resume your normal “color sessions” at night before bed time 🙂

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STORY: How you got your new nighttime routine.

One night Mommy got upset about something, a fight with Daddy. Over you. Over disciplining you most likely, Daddy tends to be the good guy and Mommy is always the bad guy. After dealing with a day of crying from your baby brother, I broke. I went into our bedroom and cried my eyes out for the first time in weeks. I let the tears fall as I wondered if I was going to make it through this moment of madness they call parenthood. I shook with fear with thoughts of  maybe you, Drew and Daddy were better off without me and maybe I should move on and just be the single girl I sometimes long to be, far away. I breathed and hiccuped every tear and every fear away as the sound of your sweet voice came through the monitor laying beside me. You were playing with your dollies in bed. I blew my nose, I wiped my face and I went into your room. I climbed into your bed and I laid beside you. You looked at me like I were crazy because I had never done that before. I looked at you and I touched your pretty little head, I asked how your day was, I talked about what did that day, I told you I loved you, you giggled because you were so excited to have me in your bed. You said “Momma you lay in my bed?” I said “Yes hunny I lay your bed.” So from that night on me or Daddy climb into bed with you for a few minutes and we talk about your day, you giggle, we kiss you and watch you fall asleep into a world of new beginnings.

I look forward to many more nightly talks with you sweet girl.

Love,

Momma

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