I had my daughter home sick with me when I started thinking about this topic. I jotted down some ideas in my notebook as she cuddled my arm all snuggled up in her blanket. Then the questions started, what are you doing? What are you writing? Can I write? Can I have a turn.
Then this post was developed. Could I think of of 10 things that I could touch upon that wouldn’t make me look like the worlds worst mother? Would I be able to narrow it down to 10 things that would ring true but not sound like I was ungrateful for my two beautiful children? Sure I could and If I look like the worlds worst mother and I seem ungrateful for my wonderful children…..then oh well.
Isn’t Sleep the one thing that people tell you over and over annnnnd over again when you tell them your pregnant? Your glowing because you are growing your family and have this beautiful baby growing inside of you and people decide to tell you their nightmare stories of how they NEVER sleep. So I really shouldn’t have to go on because if your reading this then you probably already know that sleep will never be the same again. Ever. I dream of sleeping in past 6. I long to wake up lovingly in my husbands arms again with silence in the background. Then I think of when they will be in school and I’ll have plenty of other things to get up early for, bake sales, sports, first days of school etc etc. Then fast forward to the high school years when they learn to drive. Yikes, now I’m staying up to make sure they meet their curfew and are home safe and sound in their nice warm beds. Oh boy, then what about when they are in college when someone could possibly be hurting my babies feelings in any way possible. Eh…..I already told my husband I’d see him when the kids have families of their own someday because though we will still worry, at least I see my own mother sleeping these days.
TWO. Bathroom Door.
I wanted to label this one, you’ll never pee with the door closed again. I thought it would only be when my children started walking and getting into things but nope. Day one, your home alone and the baby is finally fast asleep in his/her basinet and you really have to go……well of course I’m leaving the door open, just incase he/she may need me!!! Just incase I can’t hear them scream bloody blue murder. Then of course the toddler stage starts and you get the curious little wobbler wondering his way in (I use he a lot because right now I have a son who is at this age) Then their is the age my daughter is currently at. Four. “Mom are you peeing and pooping?” “Mom don’t forget to wipe!” “Mom here I’ll get the toilet paper for you!” Thanks honey, I’m so glad you have my back. I’m secretly praying that once my children get to that “Mom, don’t look at me naked” age, they won’t want to see me sitting on the toilet anymore and I’ll FINALLY get to close the door.
THREE. Hot Food.
Ha! One of my favorites. because I am also a foodie, I love everything about food and when I spend hours creating and prepping a delicious meal, more often than not I don’t get to eat it hot. “Momma I need milk.” “Momma I don’t like this sauce can you make it plain.” Momma I need ketchup.” No children Momma needs a glass of wine to go with her hot meal! I’d like to say that this too will go away as your kids get bigger but I’m not so sure, maybe when he/she can pour their own milk?? No because then I’ll be getting up to get the paper towels and helping them wipe it up when they spill it right? This is one of the main reasons why I love going out to eat with a girlfriend or with my husband when I can. Hot food. No one to clean up after. Win Win!
I thought of this one specifically the other day when I got my daughter all comfortable on the couch with her favorite television show on (I use this only for these times and my workouts) I feel the warmth of the water hit my face. Ahhhh, something about a hot shower that just relaxes me. In bursts my four year old “I gotta poooooooop! Yes pooping on the potty is new here so obviously she’s entitled to barge in on anyone if she must. Another one of my favorites is on the weekends when I do get a peaceful shower alone because my husband is home. Not. “Honey I’m going to go shower while the kids are busy playing.” “Ok hon.” as he doesn’t even look up from his phone. He says he doesn’t get to be online all day like I do so that’s his excuse as to why he’s glued to his phone. Ha, like I have time to be on line all day…..OK maybe I do but I choose not to ons on some days! Back to that shower…Knock Knock….”Yeeees!” “Hon what do you want to do for lunch for the kids??!” Really????!!!!!!
FIVE. Beach Chair.
I realized this, just over the last few weeks of summer. We live about 2 blocks from a lake. We load up the kids in their wagon, throw the chairs on our backs, pack a picnic and head off for a few hours of sunshine and fun! Sunshine and fun absolutely, but it took me all darn summer to realize the chair was a waste of time because it’s not like I get to sit in it. Sometimes maybe sometimes I get a few minutes to sit if my sister is there. Let’s face it, it’s not easy keeping a 4 year old entertained and your wobbly 14 month old from face diving into the water while sitting in a beach chair. Maybe next year the chairs will happen. Maybe.
SIX. Yard Work/Chores
I’m pretty sure this one will forever change you. You’ll find yourself being creative with ways to get your toddler to vacuum or do laundry with you, hey whatever works. It took me a few months after having my first to realize that it was OK TO STEP AWAY from the sleeping child and actually empty the dish washer. The sooner you realize your house is not going to be as clean as it once was the better off you’ll be. They do teach themselves to eat. They do like seeing it land on the floor. It will happen. Sports means more laundry. The toddler years are by far the hardest, I’m not going to pick wash my floors or do laundry over playing with my kids. Well until we run out of underwear or literally stick to the floors I won’t. I laugh at my husband ALL THE TIME when he says he’s going outside to rake leaves with the kids. “Okay honey have fun!” However I am secretly envious of him when he does get to go outside and mow the lawn while listening to his favorite tunes while I keep the kids busy inside. It’s not like I get to do that when I strip beds or scrub the shower. I actually scrub the shower more often than not while I’m in it….yes showering. Gross isn’t it.
SEVEN. Hot Coffee.
Make friends with your microwave fast! If your not already of course. There is just something about a hot and steamy cup of coffee that just wakes me up! So a lot of the time I get 3 sips into it before that beautiful steaming cup of coffee is now cold and microwave worthy. I have to admit it’s not the same once you have to reheat it. I even try and time it. OK the kids are elbow deep into their eggs, they have their juice, I’m good right…….GO get that cup of Java Momma. “Momma I need more ketchup!” “Momma, Drew is trying to eat my eggs!” Yes this is exactly why my kids will be in college using sippy cups because I never got one sip of hot coffee! I was sick of mopping up juice or milk 6 times a day so my 4 year old still uses a sippy cup and I may get that 3 sips of hot coffee now. Hey you pick and choose your battles folks, I like my coffee.
Ahhhh weekends. When will weekends ever be about me again? Probably never and I’m OK with that. I actually prefer staying home. Those once so lovely weekends of staying out until all god hours of the night and waking at whatever time you felt like are totally over. Even when my husband and I are away for the random night or weekend away, we are still awake at 7am. Damn that internal clock! A few months ago we were out celebrating my birthday. We had a nice bottle of wine, we had a table by the fire. I took his hand in mine and said, “What’s wrong honey.” “Oh nothing, I’m just tired, I think it’s from having the kids all day.” Ha! I took 8 hours to go get my hair done, go shopping and visit my family for a gift to myself and he’s tired from having the kids for 8 hours. “Well honey you are darn lucky that I’m always tired, so let’s take this bottle home. It was 8:30 folks. (this picture shows our date nights these days) At home with the kids in bed.
NINE. Hair and Makeup.
If you love doing your hair and make up you may want to reconsider not having children. J/K…..I just don’t care anymore so the thought of running to the grocery store or off to story time with my hair thrown up and no make up on doesn’t phase me. Yes I secretly hope to not run into someone I used to actually like to look good for. Like those old friends that you had before you had kids. Or those friends that don’t have kids yet and probably couldn’t imagine why you were out with your hair in a ponytail and no make up on. Their is good news to this one though. When you do get the occasion to get out with your man or best gal pal, when you actually do your hair and make up, you feel like a million bucks!! I love that feeling.
I got stumped and had one more to think of. I asked my husband for help and he chose patience. I said noooooo that’s not a good one, however the more I thought of it the more I realized that your patience are NEVER the same again once you become a parent. Think about it, back in my twenties my patience got tested when I was sitting at a bar with my friends and had to wait my turn “patiently” for my drink. Don’t laugh, I had responsibilities. I was paying my own mortgage at 22, I had stress people! However waiting for that drink really “tried” my patience. Or how about when you had a romantic first date with the guy of your dreams and the table next to you had two whiney children? Yeah that’s me now. 😉 my patience are tried every day. The frustrations of a toddler or even a pre-schooler just drain me come the end of a day. When my son stomps his feet and cries because I won’t let him play with my phone (he deletes apps!) my patience are tested time and time again. Daily, hourly, heck they are tried by the minute.
This post was to simply make you smile and realize that your not alone. That though these changes happen when you have children you smile at those precious little lives that you’ve created and realize why your doing what your doing.