I have come to appreciate the benefits of one on one time with each of my kids the past few months. I remember when we first found out we were expecting our second child my thoughts immediately went right to my daughter. How could I possibly love another child? Would my daughter suffer? Would I be able to handle another? The one thought that kept with me, it just sat with me throughout my whole pregnancy with my son, It’ll never be just me and my daughter anymore. That one tore at me. I counted down the months, the days, eagerly awaiting the beautiful addition to our family but at the same time I spent those last moments treasuring every second I could with just my daughter. I did special things with her and I sat back and just truly enjoyed those moments with her.
Enter Drew. Everyone was right. I did love another child just as much as my first. The day he blessed us I had no idea that my heart could love so much more than it already did. It wasn’t a process, it wasn’t something that came in time, it just happened. As the months went on I got to see the love that formed between my children. I saw the love that blossomed between a father and son and most importantly as a mother of a daughter and now a son, I felt complete.
The challenge was real. Learning to juggle two vs. one. Learning to make time for my oldest even though an infant can be so needy was trying at times. I adjusted our schedule and I just adapted. That’s the thing that amazes me the most about parenthood. How we just change when changing needs to be done. As my youngest grew I came across the normal sibling discomfort if you will. Jealousy was a big one. That’s when I realized I really needed to make some more one on one time with my oldest. For the first year of my sons life my daughter went to school two days a week. I got a lot of one on one time with my baby. Time to bond and time to truly get to know him. I’m so blessed for that time, but I noticed my older one withdrawing more from activities and just showing more jealousy than I cared to admit. I reached out to friends but a lot of my friends work full time so the jealousy factor didn’t seem to be as heightened for them as it seemed in my home. I then implemented Date Night for my daughter. One on one time for me and my husband to spend with her just the three of us, times for just Momma and Maddie and times for just Daddy and Maddie. Now that the Winter is here, it’s a bit more difficult but to me the benefits of making that one on one time for each of my children has proved to be so important.
I have noticed a huge difference in my relationship with my daughter lately, she snuggles with me more, she always asks to hold my hand (god let that never end) and she asks me to play more with her. She loves sitting with either myself or my Mom at night to do “big girl” things that her little brother can’t do. It gives us a chance to talk in a way that we can’t when my youngest is around, it gives her that attention that I know she longs for. Every Friday my daughter goes to school and my son stays home with me. I enjoy those days so much. We sit and play and I get to enjoy him in a different way than I do on the days we are all home together. My husband does the same for each of my kids and I truly believe it gives each kid the time they both deserve from both parents.
Do you make one on one time for your kiddo’s?